• PAGES: 292 (trade paper)
  • RRP: £6.99/$7.99 (paperback) // £1.99/$2.99 (ebook)
  • PUBLICATION: September 2015
  • ISBN: 978-1908340153 (paperback)
  • ASIN:B01491ZAGY
  • PAPERBACK: Amazon US | Amazon UK
  • EBOOK: Amazon US | Amazon UK

If Wishes Were Husbands

by

Lucy Shea

Inventing the perfect husband goes hilariously wrong for Rachel in this funny, light-hearted novel with a twist of fantasy and a smidgen of romance. When the single life gets her down, Rachel invents a story about Darren, the perfect husband she keeps hidden away at home. He cooks! He cleans! He’s great in bed! But her fanciful stories take on a life of their own when Darren appears on her sofa. Suddenly living with a man she only dreamed about, Rachel faces a dilemma: should she leave him or should she love him? Lucy Shea’s humorous style takes a funny and thought-provoking journey into an unexpected relationship, reflecting every woman’s search for the right man.

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Excerpt from If Wishes Were Husbands

Of all the things in the world that should never have been invented, alarm clocks top the list. With the exception, possibly, of nuclear weapons. And terrorism. And antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Okay, so not top. But if there were a list of all the bad things in the world, then alarm clocks would definitely be on it. My alarm clock bleeped at me with an incessant electronic trill. It woke me up — which was what I wanted — but it didn’t do it very nicely. I whacked the snooze button. My sleepy hand knocked the thing onto the floor, the battery sprung out of the back compartment and the digital display winked out of existence. Arse. It had to be 7am. That’s the time I set it for. I sat up and felt that groggy feeling which meant going out on Sunday night had been a bad idea. Beside me, I heard a low gravelly moan. I swivelled. In the bed next to me was a naked man. I yelped and scrambled out of bed. Two blue eyes peeked out from under a matt of black hair. “Would you like me to make you breakfast before work?” It was the Darren-man! I stood. I stared. Transfixed. Confused. Until I realised I was naked too. My hands flew to my breasts. Leaving me exposed down below. I clasped one arm over both nipples and put the other hand over my bush. “Rachel, what’s up?” said the man. “You … you …” I stuttered. “You left!” His forehead wrinkled in a confused expression. “You said you were going to bed, so I came up first and brushed my teeth. You were sound asleep by the time I got in.” “What?!” I grabbed a pillow to cover my modesty. Mind whirling. Half wondering if I was dreaming, half remembering what had happened the night before, half thinking someone had spiked my drink. “I tell you what,” he said. “I’ll go squeeze you some fresh orange juice. You’ll feel better after that.” He threw the duvet off himself and got out of bed with his man bits dangling between his toned thighs. I cowered by the bedside table, clutching the pillow to my nakedness and watched his pert bottom saunter out of the bedroom.

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Copyright, Lucy Shea 2015

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Lucy Shea’s humorous style examines the dilemmas of a modern single woman

A collection of humorous and dramatic stories with a mix of fantasy, romance and real life